Wish I Was Dreaming
by Bye Felicia
Summary: Kim didn't want to accept what Rudy said. She didn't want to take it in and realize the reality of the situation. She kept shaking her head in denial, willing herself to wake up from the nightmare. Slight Kick with character death. Sorry not sorry. ONE YEAR LATER CHAPTER POSTED!
1. Chapter 1

_**Hi people.**_

_**My name is Mark, and I'm pretty knew to this whole fanfiction story writing thing. I've been readying fanfiction on this cite for about a year now, but I only recently created an account, mainly because I wanted to be able to follow some readers and write my own stories since I've had ideas swimming through my brain.**_

_**So this is my very first story. It's a one shot actually. The idea wasn't immense enough to be a full story, but I got inspired after watching a show on Netflix and seeing what happened to one of the characters. I won't say what show or what happened because I wouldn't want to ruin the surprise for you guys.**_

_**So, yeah. Here we go.**_

_**Disclaimer:**__** I do not own Kickin' It. If I did, Jack and Kim would be married with babies by now.**_

* * *

Kim was suddenly awakened from her blissful sleep by the loud ringing of her phone. She groaned and rolled over, trying to find a more comfortable position. She buried her face deep into her pillow and sighed, as she welcomed the soft and warm comfort of her blankets. Finally, the ringing stopped and she was able to slip back into her deep slumber. She slightly opened her eyes as she shifted around a little, and finally relaxed as she hugged her pillow.

She finally felt herself falling back asleep.

Until her eyes snapped open and locked on her alarm clock.

No her eyes weren't deceiving her. It was indeed **12:15 p.m.**

Kim was supposed to be at the Dojo at **10:00** for practice. She had a tournament coming up in a few weeks, and if all went well, she would be able to earn her 3rd degree black belt. It was extremely important to her that she earned the higher status and promised Rudy that she would squeeze in extra training and would be as punctual as possible. Part of that punctuality agreement involved her being ready for practice by **10:**00 every Saturday morning, and for the past couple of months, Kim had been on top of everything, making sure her alarm was set to at least two hours before she left the house, giving her enough time to get ready, eat, and possibly dilly daddy a bit.

So why didn't her alarm wake her up this time?

Kim immediately jumped out bed making a run for her closet, grabbing the first things she could find: a pair of Hollister sweat pants and an old t-shirt she stole from Jack. She hurriedly rolled some deodorant under her arms and through on her clothes before running to the bathroom to quickly brush her teeth and rinse with some mouth wash. When she was done she ran back to her room, pushed her feet into some sneakers, grabbed a scrunchie, her car keys, her phone, and her duffle bag, and head out the door.

She was out in under two minutes. A new record.

Kim started her car and started driving the quickest route to the Mall she knew. It still bugged her that she forgot to set her alarm to wake her up. Kim never forgot to do anything! She even left a note on her nightstand reminding her when she had to set her alarm clock. So why had she slipped up and forgotten?

Kim suddenly recalled the night before. Jack, her boyfriend of over a year, came over to work on a project even though that was far from what they ended up doing. They probably spent about ten minutes working and the rest of the night watching movies, teasing each other, making out, and eating food.

And he didn't hop on his motorcycle and leave until midnight.

So she must've been too distracted and tired to remember that she had practice in the morning.

Well it wasn't like she was complaining. At least she was able to spend some much needed alone time with Jack. Their relationship had started during a poorly thought out game of Truth or Dare. Jack, Kim, and the rest of their friends were hanging out in Milton's backyard. They had spent the summer afternoon in the pool, barbequing, and having countless water fights. When it started getting late and they were all too wet to go inside, Eddie spat out the glorious idea of playing Truth or Dare.

Nobody objected to it or gave a better idea, so they ended up playing the game for two hours. The game went from everyone choosing 'truth' to every becoming courageous and choosing dare. At one point, Grace dared Eddie to stand on Milton's front porch and scream about how horrible his period was.

Let's just say that they all had video footage to keep hem laughing for three lifetimes.

Once they stopped laughing and regrouped themselves, Eddie challenged Kim with the 'truth or dare' question. Kim confidently picked dare. She didn't regret her decision until she saw the mischievous look on his face and he gave her the dare.

"I dare you to kiss Jack."

Kim felt the blood drain from her face as there was a chorus of "ohh's" across their group. She looked at Jack who was blushing madly and staring at the ground. She wondered what he was thinking at that exact moment. Was he feeling as embarrassed as she was? Where a million thoughts running through his mind about how he has wanted an opportunity like this for so long, but still felt reluctant? Was he worried about what it would do to the relationship he already had with Kim? Was his heart beating faster than usual?

Kim looked at her friends eager faces. "Well, what are you waiting for?" Jerry asked. "Go lock lips with him."

"Uhh," Kim never felt so pressured in her life. "Isn't that kind of inappropriate for us to be doing?"

Grace scoffed. "Oh please Kim. I've done worse during truth or dare when I was 12."

Kim glared at Grace, who was evidently not helping the situation. "I don't know if it's a good idea…" Of course Kim wanted to kiss Jack. She'd dreamed of kissing him countless times. Ever since she met him in eighth grade, all she's ever wanted to do was ram her lips into his. But did she want to kiss him in the particular situation? No. And for many reasons. When she thought of kissing Jack, or anyone for that matter, she imagined it being at a nice quiet restaurant, or at the end of a nice date, or during prom. Not during a truth or dare game in her friends back yard. She wanted her kiss with Jack to mean something, and she wanted it to happen spontaneously on their own accord. Not because her friends dared her to.

Plus, what if Jack didn't want to kiss her? They were the best of friends. Jack disclosed almost every detail of every crush he's ever had to Kim, and vice versa. Kim might as well be friend zoned for the rest of eternity! Why would Jack want to kiss her when she was most likely friend zoned?

And let's not forget how awkward everything might become after their kiss. How would Kim be able to look Jack in the eyes with a straight face knowing that they swapped saliva?

It made logical sense for Jack to also agree and say he wasn't going to engage in the stupid game anymore. But Jack's next words surprised Kim.

"Let's do it."

It took a moment for his words to register in Kim's mind, but once they did, she couldn't help but stare at him wide eyed. "Seriously?"

"Yeah." Jack shrugged. "I mean, I'm perfectly okay with it. How long do you want us to kiss?" The latter question was directed towards Eddie.

Eddie was startled. "Uhh," he stuttered, "10 seconds I guess?" He looked utterly perplexed. He hadn't expected Jack to give in so quickly. Part of his dare was to finally get Jack and Kim to kiss and realize that they were meant for each other, and part of it was to see them squirm and try to get out of the dare.

But seeing Jack comply so easily was only half the joy.

"Alright." Jack stood. "Then let's do it." He said it so nonchalantly, as if he was asked to step on a roach, or kick a ball.

Kim slowly stood up nervously. They stared at each other, not sure what they should do or how they should conduct themselves. _Should I lean in?_ Kim thought, _or should I wait for him? Where do I put my hands? Which way should I tilt my head? Does my breath stink?_

They both started mumbling a chorus of nonsense in their awkwardness. "So, uhh, should we just—" "M-maybe I should go this way—" "Let's just, uhh, start—"

"Oh just kiss already!" Milton's voice rang out amongst the group, startling Jack and Kim. His comment made Kim feel even more nervous and intimidated about the whole situation. Couldn't he see she was three seconds away from an anxiety attack? She glared at Milton and opened her mouth, ready to spit out every last bit of profanity she knew.

But as soon as she opened her mouth, she felt two hands cup her cheeks and soft lips press to hers. Her eyebrows shot up in complete shock as a chorus of "ohh's" and whistles rang throughout their group. They all chanted and routed and started acting obnoxious.

Jack and Kim didn't hear them. They didn't hear anything, for they could only focus on the feel of each other's lips moving together. They only focused on the sensation of each other's lips. Their lips were like a perfect fit together, moving with every second that passed.

The kiss deepened as Kim placed her hands around Jack's abdomen, pulling him closer. The soft and warm tingle of Jack's lips against hers overtook all of her senses, preventing her from hearing, breathing properly, and thinking straight. She could almost feel Jack receiving every feeling and desire she's ever had for him through the kiss.

And Kim received all of Jack's feelings and desires for her.

"_Ten!_" The sound of their friends voice rang out in their ears and they jumped apart from each other, breathing heavily. They stared into each other's eyes, unspoken words transferring between them. Their friends cheered and hooted as they backed away from each other, taking their seats once again.

"Now was that so hard?" Grace chirped, a dreamy look in her eyes.

She had no idea.

Later that day when they were all tired and ready to hit the hay, they gathered up blankets and pillows in Eddies basement and fell asleep to reruns of _That's so Raven _and _The Suite Life of Zack and Cody_. Well, everyone except Kim fell asleep. She remained wide awake, unable to forget about the kiss she exchanged with Jack. They hadn't spoken since it happened, obviously too embarrassed and flustered to face each other with a straight face. Kim couldn't help but wonder what Jack was feeling. How was he affected by the kiss?

At some point, Kim got tired of lying wide awake in her blanket/pillow cocoon, and got up. She made her way to the kitchen, hoping that a quick glass of hot tea would calm her nerves and help her sleep. She found a kettle in one of the kitchen cabinets, filled it with water, and set it to boil on the stove.

"Couldn't sleep either?"

Kim jumped and turned around, clutching her heart. She thought she was the only one awake and that she would have some time to think and clear her mind.

But as the universe would have it, Jack would be awake at the same time she was, and would decide to come to the kitchen.

"Jack." Kim breathed. "How long have you been standing there?" He stood so casually in the kitchen door way, and for some reason it made Kim's heart skip a beat.

Jack walked inside and sat at the kitchen table. "Just got here. I couldn't sleep, so I figured a quick cup of tea would clear my mind."

Kim smiled, for it was the same idea she had. "Really? Me too."

Jack chuckled. "I guess great minds think alike, huh?"

Kim blushed as a small laugh escaped her lips. "Yeah."

Kim watched as Jack nervously played with his fingers. He bit his lip and his eyes danced around the room, never meeting Kim's. He looked like he had something he wanted to say but was too afraid to say it, which was a first because Jack was never afraid to say what he wanted.

Kim sat across from him, the concern written all over her face. "Jack, is there something you want to—"

"What did it mean?" Jack looked up, interrupting her. "The kiss." He had been tossing and turning in his makeshift bed for over an hour, repeating the question over and over again. It was all he was able to think of since it happened. He couldn't divert his mind from the kiss and how his emotions started going haywire during it. It was stuck on repeat in his head, and even though he completely enjoyed it, the unanswered questions that started to pile up in his mind were driving him crazy.

Kim stared wide eyed at him. "I, uhh…" She was at a loss for words. She knew exactly what it meant for her, but she had no idea how to say it, or how to say anything for that matter.

"I mean," Jack found another way to say what he wanted to say and sighed, "it's all I can think about since it happened." He finally looked her in the eye as he spoke. "And I know what it means to me. But what I don't know, and what's been bothering me the most is what it means to you."

"Well," Kim started quietly, "what _does_ it mean to you?" The question came out softer than she intended, but the situation was pretty delicate, and speaking any louder seemed like a horrible idea.

Jack sighed, running his hand through his hair. "_Gosh,_ I don't even know where to begin." There was so much he had to tell Kim, about the kiss, about his feelings, about them in general. He had been afraid of a moment like this, because he didn't know how Kim would react or if he would end up looking foolish. But with the kiss on both of their minds (there was no denying that Kim was thinking about it), right then and there seemed like the perfect timing.

Jack knew that if he thought about it too much, he would block away his feelings, tell Kim to forget he said anything, and try to go back to sleep. But he knew that would do worse damage to their relationship than what he wanted to say, so he shut off his brain and let his heart speak for him. "At first, I was reluctant. I didn't want it to happen." Jack saw the look on Kim's face and quickly changed his words. "I mean, I didn't want it to happen the way it did. I felt like we were being pressured into it. And I knew that wasn't right. I don't want to feel forced into kissing anyone. Especially you Kim. You're too special for that." Kim nodded, taking in his words. It was good to see that he at least had some morals and actually didn't want to kiss her for a stupid game.

"But at the same time," Jack continued, "I really wanted to kiss you. And not because it was a stupid dare, or because I wanted to please everyone. I've wanted to kiss you for as long as I can remember. I think I've wanted to kiss you ever since the first time I met you when I caught your apple with my foot." Kim giggled at the memory of meeting Jack for the first time. "I was in denial of it because we were 13 and I had just moved to Seaford, and I was still trying to figure everything out. But as we spent more time together and grew closer, I knew that I really did want to kiss you, and I knew why I wanted to kiss you." Jack reached across the table and grabbed Kim's hand. "It's because I like you Kim."

Kim's heart jumped. She had to fight the urge to scream, jump for joy, and reach across the table and slam her lips against his because she knew he wasn't done. "And I knew I couldn't tell you how I felt because we're best friends and who knows what information like that could do to our friendship. I didn't want to risk losing someone as special as you because of my stupid feelings. But _God_ Kim, you don't know how hard it has been to try and conceal my feelings while we spent so much time together. Half the time, I wanted to jump on your back and get a piggy back ride while giving you a noogy, and half the time I wanted to kiss you and never let you go." Kim chuckled. She remembered the countless times she would give him a piggy back ride, and vice versa.

"I've been harboring this for a while now Kim." Jack released Kim's hands and rubbed the back of his neck. "I never knew what to do with it or how to handle it. And I could only hope that you reciprocated the feelings at least a little bit, but I understand if you don't since we've been friends for so long, and you've probably stuck me in the friend zone with the rest of our friends—"

Kim stopped him. She reached across the table and planted her lips on his. Jack was obviously startled as he jumped a little and his body slightly tensed. He was unprepared for Kim's sudden actions.

But he was glad that she shut him up anyway.

Kim pulled away after a few seconds, leaning back in her seat while blushing. "You are definitely not friend zoned Jack." He smiled as she said this, his whole face lighting up in the darkness. "If anything, I thought I was in the friend zone. I've been crushing on you since I saw you standing in the lunch line on your first day at Seaford High. But, I always thought that we were just going to remain best friends and nothing more since you've always treated me like a sister. Plus, I figured you were way out of my league." Kim saw some of the girls Jack sometimes fawned over. They were the Barbie doll looking ones, with the perfect body, perfect hair, perfect boobs, perfect everything.

Kim was far from perfect.

Just then the kettle started to whistle. She stood up before Jack could speak and walked over to the stove to turn off the kettle. She grabbed two mugs and placed tea bugs in them.

"Hey." Kim turned around to see Jack standing in front of her, his tall 5'9 frame towering over her petite 5'2 build. Kim's breath hitched as he gazed into her eyes. "Don't say that. If anything, you're out of my league."

Kim laughed. Jack kissed her, deeper and more passionate than the two they previously shared. They kissed for what seemed like an eternity, the hot water and tea bags long forgotten.

And thus began their relationship.

Kim smiled to herself at the memory. The game of truth or dare. The ridiculous things she and her friends did. The way Jack looked at her before he kissed her that night.

He always had the same expression on his face right before he kissed her. It never changed.

Kim finally reached the mall. She parked her car in the parking lot (not well, but who had time for perfect parking anyway), grabbed her things, and bolted out of the car, barely remembering to lock the door. She ran as quickly as her slender legs could carry her, her sneakered feet pounding the pavement with every step.

Finally, she arrived at the newly renovated Dojo, bursting loudly through the doors. "Rudy!" She yelled, dropping her things by the door. "I'm here!"

Rudy ran up to Kim quickly, worry written all over his face. "Kim! Are you alright?" He placed both hands on her shoulders, examining her like some sort of fractured sculpture.

Kim shook him off as she panted. "I'm fine." She reassured him. "I just overslept. I forgot to set my alarm last night." She breathed heavily, in an attempt to steady her breathing. "I'm really sorry Rudy. I know how important it is that I get in as much training as possible with the tournament coming up. I just hope it's okay that we start now instead of at 10 like we usually do. I promise it will never happen again."

She waited for a response in hopes that Rudy wouldn't be too hard on her. She was usually very punctual, and she _was_ one of his best students. She just hoped that he wouldn't be too mad at her, or give her a boring lecture.

Kim looked at Rudy's expression. It didn't really change from its original worried look. In fact, now it was mixed with dread, pain, and complete disbelief.

Did she really disappoint him that much?

She tried to apologize again. "Rudy I—"

"So," Rudy stopped her, "you haven't heard?"

Kim's eyebrows knit in confusion at Rudy's words. His whole entire demeanor confused her. It wasn't Rudy-like at all. _Heard about what?_ She thought.

Kim finally got a good look at the scene before her that she was too busy worrying about practice to notice. She spotted Milton seated on a stack of mats with his head in his hands, shaking violently. Eddie paced back and forth with his face cupped in his hands. He wiped his face suddenly and Kim got a glimpse of his bloodshot eyes and tear stricken face. Jerry had Grace embraced in a tight hug as she seemed to be sobbing, while Jerry didn't seem to be trying hard to retain his own tears which were falling freely from his face.

Kim looked back at Rudy questioningly, taking in his expression for the first time. Aside from the worried expression, his eyes were slightly puff and bloodshot, as if he too had been cry.

Something wasn't right…

Rudy swallowed. "We tried to call you multiple times but—"

"What's going on?" Kim's voice was filling with concern. She wasn't used to seeing all her friends looking so pained, and it slightly scared her.

"Uhh," Rudy started, "last night, th-there was an accident." Rudy's voice started to crack and he quickly cleared his throat, regaining whatever strength he had. "Umm, apparently Jack w-was on his motorcycle at around midnight last night." Kim nodded. She knew that. She watched him hop on that stupid bike and drive down the road. But what did that have to do with anything? "He, umm," Kim saw a tear roll down Rudy's face. He didn't make a move to wipe it away. "He was hit by a truck on his way home."

Those words hit Kim like a _pang_ in her chest as the realization of the whole situation sank in on her. And right before Rudy's next words, Kim caught one key detail in her peripheral vision that she had missed. She saw Jack's mother in a corner, struggling to stand up straight as she sobbed into Jack's fathers' t-shirt.

"Jack died before the ambulance could arrive at the site."

* * *

_**Yeah, I've decided to make it a two-shot. I had more to write, but it seemed more fit to end it there instead of trying to fit in the rest of what I had.**_

_**Oh no. I killed Jack. I must be a horrible person right? *looks at the audiences blank expression* Aaaaaalrgihty then.**_

_**I know I'm not that good. I mean, it's my first story, so of course I'm not going to be an immaculate writer. But it's definitely not really good. It's definitely not as good as most of the writers I've seen on this cite either. So be as brutally honest as necessary in the comments. I can take it, so don't worry.**_

_**Please review and follow this story if you want. No pressure guys. No pressure at all.**_

_**Bye Felicia.**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Hi people.**_

_**I am back with the second and last installment of my first ever story. I didn't think I would be able to write it until like next week because I have a lot of school work to catch up on, but somehow, instead of writing a speech, I'm writing this. But oh well.**_

_**So grab your tissues guys, because you are about to enter an emotional roller coaster!**_

_**Disclaimer:**__** I do not own Kickin' It or any other recognizable content.**_

* * *

Kim couldn't remember the last time she cried so hard for so long. She wasn't even sure if she ever had. She didn't think it was possible for the human body to release so much liquid at once without going into some sort of shock. It felt as though a dame in her head had been broken and the water was eternally flowing out of her eyes.

Kim didn't want to accept what Rudy said. She didn't want to take it in and realize the reality of the situation. She kept shaking her head in denial as he spoke, willing herself to wake up from the nightmare she knew she had to be in. She kept shutting her eyes and opening them in an attempt to prove that she was just dreaming, and would soon wake up, call Jack, and he would reassure her that he was alright.

All her blinking did was give her tears an easier time falling down her face.

"Jack died before the ambulance could arrive at the site."

For a minute it was like everything was happening in slow motion as Kim felt everything in her break. She stared at Rudy in disbelief as her eyes filled with salty tears. She wanted to say something. Anything. But the lump that formed in her throat was preventing her from forming any sound other than the sobs the started emitting from her. She felt Rudy's arms wrap around her as her knees gave in and she felt herself about to fall. She clutched onto him for dear life, sobbing madly into his shirt. All Rudy did was rub her back and whisper things like "I'm sorry," and "It'll be okay," into her ear.

What more could he do anyway? He couldn't bring Jack back. He couldn't reverse time and stop the accident before it happened. He couldn't make the pain that was crashing down on Kim go away.

He couldn't do anything.

Kim didn't know how long she held onto Rudy for, but she knew she was in his arms long enough when Grace and Jerry pulled her away from him. That's when Kim finally cracked. Agonizing screams erupted from her lungs as she sputtered a series of words and phrases. She yelled things like, "It can't be," and "He can't be dead," and "This can't be happening." Grace and Jerry tried to steady Kim as her legs started to feel like noodles, but they couldn't stop her from dropping to the floor in her pool of grief. They didn't try to help her stand up or calm her down. Instead, Grace bent down and pulled Kim into a tight hug, and Jerry followed suit.

At some point, what felt like hours later, Rudy decided to close the dojo, and Kim was in the passenger seat of her car with Grace in the driver's seat driving home. She was more stable than Kim at the moment, so it made sense that Grace drove. Finally, Grace pulled into Kim's driveway before turning off the ignition and turning to Kim. "Do you want me to come inside with you?"

Kim took a moment before shaking her head. "No." She muttered. She didn't take her eyes off the spot on the windshield. Her eyes were practically glued to it.

Grace nodded in understanding. None of her friends where taking the news easy at all, but she knew that it was especially hard on Kim. Kim was the closest to Jack out of all of them, including Jerry. They had been dating for over a year, and even before that they were the best of friends. Kim was completely in love with Jack.

It's not easy losing someone you're in love with.

Grace nodded and placed a hand on Kim's shoulder in understanding. "I understand. Let me know if you need anything, okay?" Kim gave her a slight nod without looking at her. Grace sighed before opening the car door and closing it, making her way home and leaving Kim to sit in the silence of her own car.

Kim sat in the car for about ten minutes staring out the window before she felt something on her cheek. She touched her cheek and was surprised when her fingertips where wet. She thought her eyes had dried out already. When had she started crying again?

Kim robotically grabbed her things before she stepped out of the car and slammed the door behind her. She stared at her reflection in the window. She looked like a complete mess. Her face was red and puffy from crying, and her hair was starting to come out of the ponytail she put it in. She wiped her cheeks to get rid of the tears stains, but she pulled her hand away when she knew that more tears would replace the ones she wiped.

Kim felt like she didn't have control over her limbs when she walked up the path to her front door. Her body was working on autopilot as she opened the door to her house and closed it behind her. Her legs felt robotic as they moved her closer to the stairs, closer to her room.

"_Kim._"

Kim gasped at the sound of her name and turned quickly, regaining control over her muscles. Her parents were sitting in the living room when Kim finally came home. They stood up immediately when they saw her grief stricken face and bloodshot eyes.

Kim stared at her parents' sympathetic faces and their sorry eyes. _They already know_, she thought to herself.

Her mother was the first to move as she embraced her daughter in a hug that was dully returned. "Oh honey." She breathed as she stroked Kim's hair. "We heard about what happened to Jack. We were worried something happened to you too! Where have you been?"

"The dojo." Kim muttered to the floor.

Her mother sighed and held Kim from arms' length. "Oh sweetie, we're so sorry." Kim didn't respond. She barely looked her parents in the eye.

"Do you need anything Kimmy?" Her father finally spoke. He didn't do well in situations like this, so he could only imagine how hard his daughter was taking it.

Kim shook her head. "No." She felt the lump growing in her throat again as she spoke. "I'm going to my room."

Kim shrugged out of her mothers' arms and started towards the stairs. "Do you want us to come? Or maybe you can call one of your friends to come over?" Her mothers' voice was full of concern.

"No mom." Kim said, not turning around. "I just want to be alone." Her voice cracked on the last word. She made her way up the stairs after that, the dame threatening to break again and flood out of her eyes. Her parents didn't call after her or follow her to her room. They left her alone.

As soon as she was safe in her room, the dame broke once again, and Kim fell to her knees, hugging herself as she lay fully on the floor. She ignored the stinging pain in her knees as she sobbed. Everything washed over her like a tsunami wave, splashing into her emotions and spilling out in the form of tears.

All Kim could think of was that he was gone. Jack was gone. _Her_ Jack was gone. The same Jack that spent most of the previous night hanging out with her, eating pizza and playing _Just Dance _on the _Nintendo Wii U_. The same Jack that had changed the fate of the Bobby Wasabi dojo forever. The same Jack that gave everyone courage when he crashed into their lives on his skateboard. The same Jack that somehow found a way to make everyone smile and laugh despite whatever inner turmoil was going on. The same Jack who's smile could melt the coldest of winters, and the iciest of storms. The same Jack that caused her heart to soar like a bird and turned her mind into complete mush when he kissed her. The same Jack that held her whenever she was upset or afraid, or just needed to be held. The same Jack that made her feel safe, and protected. The same Jack that stole her heart from right under her eyes, and promised to cherish it forever.

He was gone. He was only a memory now.

Kim crawled further into her room, her eyes blurred. She gripped her desk so she could pull herself up, knocking over some of the objects placed on it. She stopped sobbing for a moment as her eyes landed on one of the objects that fell in her chaos. She picked it up and looked at it. It was a picture frame, with a picture of her and Jack in it, the happiness radiating off their faces. It was during their last summer break together, when their group of friends decided to take a trip to the beach. She and Jack had been fooling around when he unexpectedly picked her up bridal style. She remembered Milton snapping a quick picture of the two before Jack ran into the sea and dropped Kim under water. She could almost remember the smirk on his face as she resurfaced and splashed water in his face.

Kim's lip trembled as the memories replayed in her head at hyper speed. Every moment, date, fight, kiss. Everything flashed through Kim's mind at once, making Kim momentarily dizzy. She grabbed onto her chair to steady herself before she passed out.

Once her mind was clear, she looked back at the picture. There was so much she knew Jack wanted to do and accomplish. He used to stay up with her on the phone for hours, talking about all of his plans for the future; the college he planned to go to, his dream career (aside from karate), places he planned on going, where he wanted to get married and honeymoon.

The last thought hit Kim's heart sharply. They never said it out loud, but she knew that through some silent agreement, Jack wanted to eventually marry Kim and start a family with her. Hell, everyone knew it. Everyone knew that they belonged together. There was nobody else that Kim wanted to be with, and she knew Jack didn't want to be with anyone else.

Kim stared at the picture, her tears dripping onto the glass. Jack wasn't supposed to go now. It wasn't his time. There was so much more installed for him, and now he would never get to do any of it. He would never get to go to prom, one of the most important days of senior year. He would never get to graduate from high school, or graduate from college and get a degree in criminal justice like he planned on doing. He would never get to have a long lasting career with the FBI, or some other secret government agency. He would never have his wedding on near the beach with all his friends and family, and take Kim on their honeymoon to the Bahamas. He would never get to meet his kids, take them to their first day of kindergarten, teach them how to swim and ride a bike, or intimidate his daughters' first boyfriend. He would never get to meet his grandchildren, and tell them stories of when he was young, and give them presents whenever he saw them.

Kim felt her grief and pain mix with anger. He would never get to do anything ever again.

All because he was dead.

All because he got on that stupid motorcycle in the middle of the night.

Kim felt like she lost all control over herself as she threw the picture across the room. It crashed into her wall, breaking the frame and probably the glass as well. She dug her hands into her hair as she bawled uncontrollably. She was starting to feel guilt for everything that happened; for making Jack stay so late. She should've told him to leave earlier than he did. She should've told him to walk home instead of taking his motorcycle. In fact, she should've told him to spend the night so he wouldn't have to go home so late.

Dammit! She should've said anything, or done anything to prevent him from getting on that God forsaken motorcycle and killing himself!

Kim punched the wall next to her, not knowing her own strength, and broke a hole in the wall. She ignored the pain in her hand as she paced her room. Her emotions started to go haywire. She began to feel depressed, anxiety, anguish, guilt, and loneliness all at once. The loneliness quickly became the dominant emotion, driving her crazy. She looked around for something that would chase the loneliness away. Something to comfort her.

She ran to her walk-in closet, nearly breaking the doors open. She rummaged through everything in there, throwing things aside in a chaotic manner. She flung aside random articles of clothing. Jeans. Dresses. Skirts. Sweat pants. Tops. She stopped when her hands fell on a soft, familiar fabric. A fabric that was already starting to chase the loneliness away. She grabbed the rest of the fabric and pulled it out. It was a hoodie. A large black hoodie with the words **INTERNATIONAL MARTIAL ARTS CHAMPIONSHIP **plastered on the front in red letters. Kim turned the hoodie around. On the back in the same red letters read the name that brought her instant comfort.

**BREWER**

Kim brought the sweatshirt to her nose and inhaled. The smell chased away the lonely feeling boiling inside of her.

It smelled like Jack.

It was Jacks.

Kim stole it from Jacks closet one day when she was hanging out over there. Jack was annoyed by it and demanded that she give it back until he saw her wear it. He allowed her to keep it, stating that she wore it better than he did.

She pulled the sweatshirt over her head. It was a few sizes big on her, since Jack was a huge mass of muscle. But the largeness of the hoodie made her feel safe and secure. It made her feel at home.

Kim looked around her room, noticing for the first time how big it felt to her. For the first time in her life, it overwhelmed her. Without thinking, she crawled into her closet, leaving it slightly ajar. She sat with her back against the wall in the darkness of her closet, hugging herself in the sweater. She closed her eyes, forcing more tears to roll down her face and drip onto the sweater. The sweater absorbed the tears like it was nothing.

Kim sat in the silence of her closet with her eyes shut for ten minutes, not allowing herself to think about anything. Her fingers absentmindedly stared playing with the gold necklace around her neck that was given to her by Jack. She never took it off.

Jack gave it to her on their 1 year anniversary. He told her that he had spent months planning it and doing little odd jobs to raise the money to buy her the perfect gift and take her one the perfect date. He took her to a fancy restaurant that on a normal day nobody would be able to afford. But Jack made the sacrifice for her. Before they left, Jack surprised her with the necklace, which was a gold chain with a gold heart pendant encrusted with diamonds. On the back of the heart was engraved _I love you. –Jack_. It was simple, but the simplicity of it made it beautiful.

She was jolted out of her momentary peace by the sound of her phone alerting her that she had a notification. She grabbed it from her back pocket (when did she put it there?) and unlocked the screen. She gasped at the amount of text and missed calls she had. 77 missed calls, 50 voicemails, and 104 texts. She looked through her missed calls first. They were a mixture of calls from Rudy, Jerry, Milton, Grace, and Eddie, and later on her mom and her dad.

Kim sniffled as she tapped the voicemail icon and pressed the phone to her ear.

The first three voicemails were a load of chaos that blasted in her ear. She deleted those. The next one was Rudy's voice yelling over the chaos. Kim made out key words such as "Jack" and "accident" and "killed."

The next few voicemails weren't very different. Aside from the lack of noise in the background, she heard her friends voices come from the phone, saying the same type of thing Rudy had said, asking where she was and if she was alright.

Kim's lips trembled as she went through the voicemails, a new seat of tears building up in her eyes. Finally, she got through all of her voicemails. With shaky fingers, Kim scrolled through all the texts that were building up. They were from the same people, telling her what happened over a dozen times, asking where she was, if she was alright, and why she wasn't answering.

Kim didn't stop going through her phone until everything started to blur. She dropped her phone next to her and cried into the sleeve of Jack's hoodie. She cried for hours. She cried until she started to feel numb inside. She cried until her eyes dried out and it hurt to blink. She cried until she was asleep right there on her closet floor.

* * *

The next few week after that were a complete blur. There was an announcement that Monday morning in school about Jack's death, but Kim, Jerry, Grace, Milton, and Eddie weren't there to hear it. They had all gathered into Kim's bedroom and silently mourned together. They didn't say anything or move. They just enjoyed the comfort of each other being together in the tragic time.

That's what they did for three days straight. They sat together in Kim's room, being there for each other.

The school was buzzing with the news. They each got texts from different classmates, giving their condolences, and stating how much they'll miss Jack. They each respond with a thank you and some other note so that way the 'thank you' didn't sound too dry.

Thursday was the day of Jack's wake. It was held in the Seaford Funeral Home not too far from the strip mall. The crowd of people that were there was slightly overwhelming for Kim, but every time she felt like she was becoming claustrophobic, she fingered her necklace and inhaled Jack's hoodie, and the security of the sweater calmed her. It was an open casket wake, giving everyone the chance to look at Jack for the last time before he was buried underground forever. But seeing Jack's pale, lifeless face was probably worse than having a closed casket viewing. All Kim felt like doing was grabbing him and holding him close to her while she sobbed in his chest.

Next to his casket was a collage of pictures of Jack throughout his life. There were pictures of him when he was a baby, when he was a little kid, and when he was older and living in Seaford. There were pictures of him with his family during the holidays, and on vacation. There were pictures of him in karate tournaments, and hanging out with his friends. There were pictures of Jack and Kim together, smiling at the camera and stealing kisses. Kim remembered those pictures and how happy she had been then.

She wasn't sure if she knew how to be happy anymore.

The wake started with a few words from the local priest, and then speeches from Jacks parents and family. They're speeches weren't overly long, but they got the right message across, and each was followed by a fistful of tears from both the speaker and the congregation. After some of Jacks family spoke, the floor was open for his friends. Every one urged Kim to go first. She didn't prepare anything for a speech, and wasn't sure if the right words would come to her or if she would be able to speak. But once she was in front of everyone, she started talking. She talked about the first time she met Jack, and how right away she knew there was something special about him. She talked about some of the memories she had with him, and how special he made her feel. She tried to say how much she would miss him, but she choked on her words and felt a new dame break in her as the flood of salt water fell from her eyes.

Rudy, Jerry, Milton, Eddie, and Grace said some of the same things she said, but were much stronger than her. They cried, but they still held their ground as they spoke. It was amazing how they were getting through it when Kim felt like she was breaking apart all the time.

Friday was Jack's burial. Everyone stood in the cemetery around the plot that was chosen for Jack. He was slowly lowered into the ground while the friends and family he left behind cried over his life and death. Kim hugged herself tightly as his body was lowered underground, soaking in the comfort of the hoodie. It was the only way she didn't feel unbearably lonely amongst all the people around her.

Saturday and Sunday were the days Kim spent secluded by herself in her room. Her friends didn't come over those two days, but Kim didn't mind. She didn't mind lying in bed by herself. Her mother would occasionally come into her room and bring her something to eat. Kim never felt like eating, but her mother urged her to eat something so she didn't go hungry. Every now and then her fingers would find their way to her necklace and she would twirl it around and around and around. At night, when Kim couldn't sleep, she hugged a huge teddy bear that Jack won her at a carnival they went to. It reminded her of when she was happy, an emotion that seemed so foreign to her nowadays.

On Monday, the school held a memorial for Jack in the auditorium. This time, Kim, Jerry, Grace, Milton, and Eddie were in school. There was a special place for them in the front row of the auditorium next to his parents. The memorial consisted of the principal and a few teachers saying some words about Jack and how much of an asset he was to the school. The principal then put Kim and her friends on the spot and asked them to say a few words in Jack's honor. The went on the stage together and spoke into the mic. Like the funeral, Kim's voice broke and she couldn't continue on as another dame broke, but the rest of her friends stayed strong. Even when the tears silently fell down their faces, they were strong. The memorial ended with a video montage of Jack that was apparently put together by the A.V. crew and some of the faculty members. As the video played and the whole school turned into an emotional wreck, Kim, Jerry, Milton, Eddie, and Grace joined hands, squeezing each other tightly. Kim was glad for her friends security, but she also wished she was able to bury herself in the sweatshirt.

The next few days after that were the exact definition of a haze. Kim mechanically went from class to class, and then brought herself home where she sat in her closet and stared at the wall for hours, holding on to her necklace for dear life. She didn't talk to her friends at lunch, who were slowly inching their way to some sort of happiness. She just sat at the table with them. They tried to engage her into a conversation, but she gave them one word answers before completely shutting down again. She didn't participate in class or do any of the homework assignments given to her. Her teaches didn't push her though, because they knew how much Jack meant to her, and how rough she was taking it.

One day, after about two weeks had passed when Kim was standing at her locker, grabbing the books that she needed for the day, Jerry slammed his hand on the locker next to her, causing Kim to jump.

She glared at him. "What the hell Jerry?!" It came out harsher than she intended.

Jerry wasn't fazed. "Tonight. At 8 o'clock. Be at my house." He said. He stood next to her with his arms crossed, a serious look in his eye. He obviously wasn't joking around, but Kim didn't like the fact that he practically ordered her to come over.

Kim sighed. "Listen Jerry, I don't feel like hanging out today. I'll have to take a reign-check. But thanks anyway." She hadn't hung out with her friends casually or had any fun in weeks. But the thought of having fun felt so foreign to her now. It was scary how dull and lifeless she was becoming so fast, but she wasn't sure how else to feel. She closed her locker and turned to walk away, but Jerry stopped her by placing his hands on her shoulders.

"We're not gonna hang out." He stated. Kim turned around, looking at him funny. "Trust me, this is far from one of our regular hang outs." The confused look on Kim's face let him know that he should continue. "We're going to have our very own memorial for Jack." Kim stiffened at his words. She remembered what the wake, funeral, and the schools memorial for Jack felt like, and none made her feel any better than she did before.

"In what world is that a good idea Jerry?" Kim muttered in annoyance. Everyone had somehow gotten the message to leave her alone, but here Jerry was trying to bring her deeper into her grief.

Jerry sighed. "Look, none of us feel like the funeral and the memorial they had here was closer enough. How are we supposed to fully move on when all we did was give a few impromptu speeches and watch a cheesy video montage? We need to have something real, that won't make us completely miserable afterwards." His words were hitting Kim in a soft spot in her heart as she realized the truth to his words. He shrugged before he continued. "It's what Jack would've wanted anyway." He squeezed Kim's shoulder and started down the hall.

"How do you know that?" Kim called after him.

"Because he told me!" He yelled back without missing a beat.

Kim was utterly perplexed. For the past few weeks, she had been drowning in her own sorrow, barely having any type of interaction with anyone. She had been stuck in a deep hole with no way of coming to the top. She had been wondering where the rest of her emotions had gone, since all she felt was numb.

Maybe this was her opportunity to break free.

That night, Kim parked in front of Jerry's house. She heard soft music and voices coming from his backyard as she got out of her car. She hugged her teddy bear tightly as she walked through the gate that soon lead her to the backyard.

She was amazed at the seen around her. Jerry had set up all of his patio sofas and lawn chairs into a big circle around a bonfire, blankets and pillows scattered all over the furniture. A boom box was placed to the side, playing soft music. There was a picture of Jack on the other side, with different sized scented candles surrounding it. All of Kim's friends were standing around talking and laughing.

Jerry came from inside the house and immediately went to Kim to greet her. "You're right on time." He said as he hugged her and led her to the circle. "Alright guys. Kim's here. We can get started."

They all greeted Kim, who gave them a small smile and a wave before taking a seat in one of the lawn chairs that was decorated with blankets and pillows. She inhaled Jack's sweater and twirled her necklace as her heart rate picked up.

Finally, Jerry took the floor. He stood next to the picture of Jack, and spoke with so much more confidence than Kim has ever heard him speak with before. "You all know why we're here tonight, so I won't give the whole 'we're gathered here today speech.'" Eddie and Milton chuckled. "Even though there was a funeral and a memorial service in Jack's honor, this felt like a more appropriate way to remember Jack and how great he was." Kew pause for effect. "I remember one day a few months ago, Jack and I went to this party. And being irresponsible teenagers, we got really drunk. And it definitely was not pretty." Everyone chuckled as they imagined the two of them being wasted. Even Kim couldn't help but laugh a little, which surprised her. When was the last time she laughed?

Jerry continued. "But in our drunken haze, and I'm still not sure how I remember this, Jack told me some stuff. He said to me 'Jerry, if all this alcohol kills me,'" Jerry gave his best impression of Jack, "'I want you to give the eulogy at my funeral. I don't want anything too dramatic. I just want all of my friends around a bonfire, remembering me. And listening to all of my favorite songs.' The next day we vowed never to drink again." He paused as everyone laughed. He caught Kim smiling for the first time in ages. It was good to see that smile again.

"Of course, I never thought the day would come where Jack would actually die." He continued, the mood slightly changing. "But unfortunately it did. Today, we are going to remember Jack in a good way. A way that should in the end help us all. And in a way that Jack would've wanted." Jerry looked around the group. They all looked as though they were agreeing with him, and nobody was backing down or leaving. All good signs. "So, anyone wanna go first and say something?"

Grace raised her hand. "I'll go first." Jerry nodded and sat next to her. Kim watched Grace with wide eyes as she began to speak. "I didn't automatically become friends with Jack as soon as he walked into Seaford High like most of you did. In fact, I think I only started hanging out with him, and with most of you guys, because of Kim. But, I'm glad that I did end up friends with all of you, and I'm glad I was able to get to know someone as amazing as Jack." She paused to tuck some hair behind her ear. "I think Jack and I became close at the end of freshmen year when he was trying to help me and Jerry get together." She looked at Jerry who smiled sheepishly. "Neither of us had any guts to admit how we felt, and Jack somehow took over the situation and did all the heavy lifting for us. It was slightly difficult to work with him because we didn't exactly see eye to eye on a lot, but we were able to bond, and that's what's important." Grace brushed her cheek as she smiled. "I'm just so grateful that I got the chance to know someone like him, and be in his presence, even if it was for only a short amount of time." She finished as she sniffled.

The next one to speak was Eddie, who at first stuttered in nervousness. "I-in a way, none of our lives were really complete until we met Jack. I know mine definitely wasn't. Before him, I was an awkward 13 year old with no friends except for Jerry and Milton. And even then, we weren't even all that comfortable with each other. But when Jack came, he kinda just pulled us all together, and became the glue to all of us. He was like the bridge that connected our friendship. It's funny, because when I first met Jack, I was intimidated by him. He was stronger and way more confident than I ever will be, but somehow, I grew comfortable and more confident around him." Eddies voice started to shake and he wiped at his face. "He was like the rock we all needed when we were younger to help us become who we are right now. Because of him, we have each other, and that is the greatest gift he could ever give us." Eddies words brought tears to everyone's eyes. The pain was still there like a fresh scar, but something about the energy of them all being together caused them to smile at the memory of Jack instead of dig deeper into their sorrow.

"This might sound cliché," Milton started, getting everybody's attention, "but Jack seriously did change my life. Before him, I was just a skinny, weak nerd who got bullied every day. I was doing karate to try and learn how to defend myself, but I wasn't any good at it. In fact, I was on the verge of quitting until Jack barged into our lives. Literally. He was the only one who could actually convince me that karate was where I belong. Jack gave me the confidence boost I needed to continue taking karate despite how bad I was at it at the time. He helped me in so many ways. He became my closest friend when I didn't have any. He helped fend off all of the bullies and gave me the courage to stand up for myself. He was a true friend no matter what. And now, because of him, I'm a skinny nerd who's a green belt in karate and knows how to break a board." Everyone laughed as they remembered the day Milton broke a board for the first time. They chuckled as Jerry muttered 'barely,' but Milton continued, smiling through his tears. "I never knew how to thank him for it all. He was like a savior to me. He was a savior to all of us. I'm glad I was able to call him my best friend."

Jerry cleared his throat, ready to speak next. "As everyone knows, I am not the brightest crayon in the box." The group laughed as Eddie said 'ya think?' Jerry continued. "When I found out I had ADHD in second grade, I didn't know how to handle it. People would make fun of me for being different and for 'having a disease.' I used to play it off as if it didn't bother me, but it did. It hurt a lot. And, I guess that's the actual reason I became such a cocky jerk for most of middle school. I never had real friends who didn't tease me for being overly hyper, or who actually got to know me." His voice cracked and he sighed. "But Jack changed all that for me, y'know? He was one of the few people who didn't judge me for having ADHD, and actually liked me for me." He sniffed and whipped at his nose. Grace squeezed his knee in comfort. "Jack became the first best friend I've ever had in my life. He understood me, and was always there when I needed him. He helped me channel all of my extra energy into karate, and encouraged me to go for my black belt. And because of him, my ADHD doesn't bother me that anymore. I didn't let it dictate my life like it did when I was younger. Because of Jack, I was able to finally figure out who I was, and I realized that ADHD didn't define me." He rubbed his tear stricken face. "Jack was more than just a best friend to me. He was like a brother. We didn't need to be blood related to know that we were brothers, and no matter what, he will always be my one and only brother." Grace wrapped her arm around Jerry and squeezed in comfort. He smiled and squeezed back, a way of saying he was alright.

Rudy looked around the group quickly, realize that he was next. "I still haven't found the right words to say in Jack's honor. I mean, where do I begin? Jack was awesome. He was great. I remember the first time we met him when he completely destroyed the wall in our old dojo. At the time, he was categorized as a troublemaking skate rat who was in desperate need of some sort of discipline. But behind all of the trouble he caused, I knew there was potential in him. He was just so unbelievably talented. He just needed the right mentor to put him on the right path. I'm just so glad that he became a part of our the Bobbi Wasabi dojo. He not only saved the business, but he left us with all these great memories that I'm sure none of us will forget." Rudy finished with a watery smile.

Kim was the last one to speak. She didn't even realize that she was the last man standing until the silence broke her out of her daze. She was completely caught up in how much the others had to say about Jack, and how safe and comfortable she felt among all of them.

She knew she had to start talking. She knew she had to do it, if not for herself, then for Jack. She opened her mouth and let her heart speak for her. "F-for the past few weeks, I feel like I've been in this huge dark cloud that just left me feeling numb. All I've really done was isolate myself from everyone and live in my own pot of misery." There it was. That dreadful lump that usually formed right before the dame broke. But Kim didn't stop. She couldn't. "And I saw how everyone else around me seemed to be moving on and being happy. And I couldn't figure out how it was possible for everyone to get on with their lives so quickly when I felt like I was stuck in this huge pit. I feel like I've dug myself so deep into this hole that I'll never be able to get out of, and I have to watch as everyone moves on and becomes happy again and leaves me in the dust. I feel like I've forgotten how to be happy and how to feel anything except sad and lonely. But who can blame me, y'know?" Kim let out a laugh as she bit her lip. The dame was cracking, and the flood was just about to begin. "When I first met Jack, I knew that I was going to end up falling for him, but I didn't know when or how hard, and I denied it for so long, despite how much everyone instigated it." She smiled as her bottom lip quivered. "And we just became best friends and accidentally friend zoned each other. He started to take up this irreplaceable spot in my heart that must have been saved for him. He took residence there and never left. I didn't want him to leave either. And then we kissed during that game of truth or dare. And then we started dating. And everything about my life felt good and complete, and I felt like I was just soaring." Kim's breaths were becoming shallower as the crack in the dame grew larger. "And then we fell so deep in love, and every time he kissed me I found a new reason to love him. And no matter where I was, I could still feel his love for me. And there was never anything I wanted or needed from him except that unconditional love." And finally, the dame broke, and the water was released, staining Kim's cheeks. "And then, out of nowhere, he died." She sobbed out the words, clutching the sleeves of his hoodie for dear life. "He was just gone in an instant, leaving everyone he loved and everything he worked for behind. And it feels like my whole entire being has been disrupted and turned into utter chaos because of it. It's just so difficult to try and function and be normal again when this amazing person who barged into my life and turned everything upside down was suddenly ripped away from me. I don't understand how it's even remotely possible to move on from something so painful." The dame was broken more than it had ever been as Kim cried. She cried with more power than ever before. But she couldn't stop the words coming from her mouth. "And all I can ever think about is Jack, and how we'll never be able to see him or hear him or be with him ever again. We won't have him right by our sides as support. I won't ever get to hear him tell me how much he loves me ever again, and it just hurts so much." Her voice was growing in pitch as she wept. It was like her broken dame had some sort of chain reaction with everyone else's as salty tears washed over their faces. "And everywhere I turn, all I see is Jack with that stupid grin on his face about to get hit by a truck. It's some how just replaying through my mind. I can't do anything with seeing Jack there. I can't think without seeing Jack. I can't to eat without. I can't sleep without seeing Jack. I can't be in school without seeing Jack. I can't even look at the dojo without seeing Jack. Every time I close my eyes his face is there, but when I open them it's not and it's just…" Kim could barely get her words out anymore. "Why did he have to leave us?" She finished with a fit of violent sobs, shaking her body and the chair she was in. She was full of so much grief that was buried so deep within her, but with her words, she felt like it was pulled out of her gut and brought out into the open, leaving space for healing.

Grace wrapped Kim into her arms and squeezed, giving Kim so sort of comfort and strength. Everyone in the group seemed to be sobbing on different levels, some silent and calm, some heavy and hard. However, none has heart breaking as Kim's.

When Kim calmed down a bit, Jerry stood back up, rubbing his face on his sleeve. He had an iPad in his hands as he spoke. "Before he died, Jack told me that before he moved here, he started a list of 50 things that he wanted to accomplish in his life." Kim nodded. She remembered Jack telling her about that, and how he refused to let anyone read it in fear of jinxing his luck. Jerry held up the iPad. "I think that it would be a good idea to hear first handedly what his plans were." He let out a breath and started tapping on the screen of the iPad before he began to read.

"50: Own a private jet and visit every country in the world with it." Everyone chuckled, remembering how Jack said he would one day travel around the world and make memories. "49: Find Kim a dance teacher."

Kim laughed through her tears, as did everyone else. "He said that?"

Jerry nodded. "Yup. Right here on the list." He ran a hand through his hair before he continued. "48: Write a novel on how great my life is, and how amazing my friends are." Everyone smiled. Jerry continued to read down the list, stating everything that Jack wrote. "…38: Work for the FBI. 37: Become a sensei. 36: Grow out my hair." As he read the list, his friends smiles grew bigger, their tears flowed faster, and their hearts grew heavier. "… 25: Own a dog. 24: Find a way to end bullying forever." That one stuck a nerve in Milton as he broke down into a fit of tears. Kim grabbed his hand and squeezed. "… 15: Play the guitar on stage with a rock star." Jerry's laughed subtly as he read the next thing own the list, his voice shaking. "14: Find a cure for ADHD." Jerry paused to wipe his face and take a few shaky breaths. "13: Get the guts to tell Kim how I feel about her." Kim grinned as the tears spilled out. She was so grateful that he accomplished that. "…6: Kiss the girl I love under the light of a thousand stars. 5: Learn how to ride a motorcycle. 4: Learn how to sing so I can sing to my bride on my wedding day. 3: Fall in love so hard my head spins." At this, Kim's sobs came back, quaking her whole body. She placed her hand sweatshirt covered hand over her mouth to stop her from sobbing aloud, and Milton squeezed her hand, returning the comfort. "2: Change the lives of those around me significantly. And number 1: Find a group of friends that I will remember for the rest of my life."

Jerry looked up from the iPad as he rubbed his blood shot eyes. He looked at his friends. "He obviously didn't get to do all of these things, but I think that in his honor, we should accomplish them for him." He smiled. "What do you guys say?" Everyone cheered in agreement. Jerry nodded. "And now, a selection of songs favored by Jack Brewer." Jerry tapped on the iPad a few times before the music switched from soft background music to Jack's number one listened to song.

_My anaconda don't, my anaconda don't, my anaconda don't want none unless you got buns hun._

Everyone gasped in shock at the sound of Nicki Minaj's voice rapping came from the speakers before they fell into hysterical laughter. "Is this seriously the number one song on his playlist?" Eddie asked between laughs.

Jerry nodded. "He listened to it over 700 times." They laughed even more at the number of times it was played. Who would've thought that Jack would listen to _Anaconda_ so often?

"Yeah, he seriously listened to this song _way_ too much." Kim giggled. "I had to listen to it with him over and over and over again." She remembered when the song first came out, and how it was stuck in her head for a week because Jack had it on replay. It was funny how someone who listened to Coldplay, Radio head, Black Sabbath, and the Beatles favored a song by Nicki Minaj.

Kim would never be able to understand it.

But it was okay. She realized that for the first time in a long time, she was thinking and talking about Jack, and it depress her or fill her with pain. She felt like she was slowly starting to heal, and she had finally found the ladder that would get her out of the dark pit she found herself sitting in for weeks.

She began to join her friends as they sang (more like rapped) the lyrics to the songs.

"_By the way, what he say?_

_He can tell I ain't missing no meals_

_Come through and fuck him in my automobile_

_Let him eat it with his grills, and he tellin' me to chill_

_And he telling me it's real, that he love my sex appeal_

_Say he don't like em boney, he want something he can grab_

_So I pulled up in the Jag, and I hit him with the jab like _

_Dun da da dun da da da dun dun."_

When the song finally ended, the next one to come on was _Skin and Bones_ by David J. Roch. The following songs after that were a mixture of Rock, Punk, Hip hop, and dubstep, but it was all Jack. They were definitely all the elements that made up Jack.

They didn't sleep that night. The stayed up together, enjoying the comfort and security of each other's presence. They weren't doing anything except singing along to a few songs and being there for each other, but that's all they needed.

They spent the night sitting together, watching as the bonfire died doing, and getting up to do the schmoney dance when _Hot Nigga_ by Bobby Schmurda started to play. It was a shock to all of them how prominent Hip hop and Rap was on Jacks playlist, but they enjoyed it anyway. The spent a good 4 minutes doing the schmoney and laughing at how bad Kim's dancing really was.

Kim was glad Jerry organized the get together, because she finally stopped feeling numb and pained and lonely. She slowly learned how to be happy again as she spent the night with her friends. With her family.

The last song to play was _Let It Be_ by the Beatles, and it played as the sun rose over the horizon at around 7 in the morning. They held hands as they watch the sun splash the sky with an abundance of colors while listening to the words of the Beatles. And finally, towards the end of the song, the sun fully appeared, warming their faces and bringing a sense of piece amongst them.

When the song ended, Jerry stood up, so he could officially end the night. "It's been a great night guys." He paused, looking around the group, and smiled. "This meant so much to me, to all of us. And I know it meant a lot to Jack too." Jerry placed his fist to his palm. "But there's one more thing we need to do to make this night complete."

With knowing looks, Kim, Eddie, Milton, Grace, and Rudy placed their fist to their palms. They looked at Jerry with smiles, waiting for him to start. "I swear by the light of the dragons eye to be loyal, honest, and never say die." He placed his hand in the center of the little circle he made. "Wasabi?"

Everyone followed suit, placing their hands on top of Jerry's. They felt their friendship pulsing stronger than ever as they yelled the word that dignified who they were.

"_Wasabi!_"

* * *

_**Finally! Done!**_

_**This is much longer than I initially intended. But at some point my fingers just couldn't stop typing and I was just struck by so much inspiration. It basically just flowed out. I'm not sure how happy I am with it though. It didn't quite sound like how I imagined it in my head, but that's probably because I wrote most of it at 2:00 in the morning. But hey, like I said, this is my first story on this cite, so bear with me guys.**_

_**Btw, I didn't proofread past Kim's break down during the bonfire, so if there are any mistakes sowwy. *insert puppy dog eyes here***_

_**Like I said in the first chapter, I was inspired to write this by a show I was binge-watching on Netflix. The show is called Dance Academy, and it's basically an Australian show about this group of kids who go to a very prestigious dance school. And as you can probably tell, one of the characters died (wah). And it was soooooo heart breaking and emotionally draining! I cried so much after watching that episode. I legit cried myself to sleep. And I'm still not sure why. The actual actor isn't even dead. I'm following him on Instagram.**_

_**I was so emotionally bonded with this damn character that I felt grief when he died. And not just tearing up during the show, but heavy crying all night.**_

_**And somehow, it inspired me to write this.**_

_**The whole memorial part in Jerry's back yard was inspired by Dance Academy as well as the list of 50 things and the songs they listened to all night. That part was heavily based off of it.**_

_**I hope you guys liked it, and I hope it hit you guys in the feels real hard. REAL HARD!**_

_**5 brownie points for whoever can guess where the "barely" reference comes from! Seriously! If you think you know where I got "barely" from, write it in your review! There might be a surprise… (because the 50 cents in my bank account can get you a very good prize)**_

_**Please review and tell me what you thought.**_

_**Bye Felicia.**_


	3. Epilogue: One Year Later

_**Hi people.**_

_**Wow it's been a full year since I posted this story and let me just say, time flies way too quickly. A few weeks ago, I decided to reread this because I was feeling nostalgic and wanted to see what exactly I wrote and I was literally just like, "DAMN! Did I really write this?" I don't mean to brag or anything, but I did a damn good job with this story! My writing was boss af! I don't even remember half of what I wrote, but rereading it made me feel so good about myself. Like I feel so proud.**_

_**Then I decided to write an epilogue summing up how the characters have developed over the course of one year. I originally got the idea from a writer (who's name escapes me) who wrote a **__Lab Rats __**story titled **__Five Months__**. A year later she posted a one shot basically talking about how Leo struggled with the loss of his loved one for a whole year. So if any of you know the story I'm talking about and the author, holla at her for me. Tell her I said thank you for the awesome-sauce idea.**_

_**Well anyway, here it is. Enjoy!**_

_**Disclaimer:**__** I do not own Kickin' It.**_

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_One Year Later…_

One year. It's been one full year since I last saw your face, heard your voice, and kissed your sweet lips. It's been a full years since your smile warmed my heart, since your touch caused my skin to tingle, since I felt your love through everything you did. A full year. I'm not sure how it passed so quickly. It honestly still feels like it was just yesterday when I walked into the dojo and heard the news that both destroyed and changed my life. But somehow, someway, life moved on without you.

To say that I simply miss you is an understatement. Having to live without you might have been one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. Knowing that I had to wake up every morning without your silly good morning text, or give you a ride to school because you were too chicken to get your drivers license (yet you drove a motorcycle). Knowing that I could no longer hang out at Starbucks with you after school, or spar with you at the dojo. Having no one to call in the middle of the night when I can't sleep and need to ease my mind. It was sometimes hard to get out of bed every day knowing that I will never have any of these things ever again.

But I had to. I had to learn to live without you in my presence.

One of the most painful moments since you died was graduation. We had all gotten back into the flow of things when graduation came around. We had finally started to legitimately enjoy or selves and look forward to graduating and venturing off into the adult world. But that was until a freshman had the audacity to mention how you "would've looked so handsome in a cap and gown." I can't really stay mad at her because she's only a freshman, and we would need to address your absence anyway.

You had so many plans for the future, so much you wanted to do after graduation. You were so excited to walk on to stage and receive your diploma, releasing you into a life of endless possibilities. You talked about it nonstop. It hurt so much to think about your dreams being crushed, and washed away due to that accident.

That stupid accident.

Milton acknowledged you in his valedictorian speech (yes he beat Julie and was valedictorian). He said some of the most amazing things that made almost everyone in the audience burst into tears. He talked about how you helped him break out of his shell and should him that he wasn't weak even though he's a stereotypical "nerd." He talked about you inspired him to achieve above and beyond what was expected of him, and how you taught him to stand up for himself. The end of his speech earned a standing ovation from everyone. His speech had everyone in the audience feeling the effects of your death heavily, but also the greatness of your life and what you left us with. In my opinion, Milton's speech should win an award. I may be biased, but what can I say. Any speech regarding you should win an award.

So far we've all been doing pretty well after graduation. So far, college life is treating us well. Milton got accepted into all eight IV league schools. Can you believe it? You should've seen the look on his face when he received all his acceptance letters within a few days. I swear he was so happy he cried for like 30 minutes. I was so proud of him. All his hard work and dedication paid off in the best way. He ended up attending Harvard, and he's studying to be a brain surgeon like he's always wanted to. The amount of stress he's now under quadruples that of high school. But to him, it's so worth it.

Grace got into UCLA on a gymnastics scholarship. From what I heard she loves it. The team is great and they're really blowing up on YouTube and social media. Literally, every time the team competes, at least one of the teammates routines go viral on YouTube. I went to the last competition she competed in and her team was amazing. All of their routines had everyone cheering and routing for them. I've never seen Grace work so hard and flip so much in my life. I'm so happy that she's involved in something so great, and something that will open the door for countless opportunities in the future. I miss having my best girl friend around and we FaceTime every day, but overall, I'm happy she's living out her dream.

Eddie and Jerry didn't go away. They both go to Seaford Community College, Jerry majoring in business and Eddie majoring in engineering. I'm incredibly proud of them, especially Jerry. He went from being an energetic kid who struggled in school to actually graduating with decent grades and getting into college. You may not know it, but you're part of the reason why he succeeded beyond what anyone expected of him. You gave him the confidence he needed to beat the odds of a first generation Colombian kid with ADHD. He and Eddie have been working hard at they're school, and so far the results are pretty good. They're helping Rudy part-time at the dojo, training white and yellow belts to one day get their black belts. It's funny how a few years ago, we were those kids who wanted more than anything to be great at karate, and to be a part something greater than ourselves.

As for me, all those extra practices at the dojo paid off. I competed in the tournament a couple months after your funeral and got my 3rd degree black belt. The competition was help in Rio de Janeiro, and when I say a lot of other dojos were there, a lot were there. It honestly felt like every dojo in the world attended the competition. And most of them weren't even just simple dojos. They were recognized as karate academies.

Rudy told me he's never seen me fight with such determination and fire in my eyes. I've never felt so much fire in my blood either. It felt good to know that I was good enough to take down people who trained all their lives in professional martial arts academies. I wish you were there to see me compete and to help me feel more at ease. But I know your presence was there in the ring as I fought my opponents.

I'm studying law at Columbia University in New York. Let me tell you, New York is _so_ different from California. The weather is pretty crazy, switching from snowing one week to 70 degree weather the next. Everything is much more fast paced, and nobody _ever _slows down for you. You either move with everyone or get crushed by a stampede of people. But nonetheless, I enjoy the change. I've made a few good friends here, and we've created a tightknit group. I might even join the sorority that a few of them are a part of. Who knows?

As for my love life, it doesn't really exist anymore, although I haven't really tried to put myself out there either. This is partly your fault. Every time I think to myself "maybe it's time I start dating again," my heart jumps out of my throat, reminding me that I'm still not ready to let go of you. Part of me doesn't want to feel love anymore because there simply is no love like yours. There's no other feeling than the feeling I would get when I was with you. And it pains me that that feeling is gone, along with the big piece of my heart you took with you to your grave. Nothing else can ever compare to the way I felt about you. I honestly just want to hold onto that feeling and never let it go.

But I know that I have to move on. I can't spend the rest of my life grieving over your loss, and how much I miss you. You're death hurt me in unexplainable ways, and it will always hurt to know that you're not here anymore. But I need to reach the point of acceptance in the stages of grieving. I need to find a way to remember you without feeling the tug in my heart that makes me want to cry myself to sleep. I need to keep moving forward instead of having guilt pull into the past, pull into the belief that if I move on I will somehow betray you.

I need closure.

Which is one of the reasons why I flew all the way back to Seaford during my spring break. This is the reason why I'm here, kneeling by your gravestone, talking to you as if you'll respond. I need to let you know that I love you. I will always love you. That won't ever change. You will always occupy a space in my heart, reserved only for you. You were my first love, my first true piece of happiness. I can never forget you. And despite who I end up with in the future, and despite how many guys I date before I finally find "the one," you will forever and always be my one true love.

I love you Jack. I know somewhere, wherever you are, you love me too. One day, we'll reunite and get the chance to live the life we wanted to. But until then, I'm going to enjoy myself, and live my life the way I know you would want me to.

I'll see you soon Jack. I love you, and I will never forget you.

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_**And that is a WRAP! Thank you all so much for supporting this story the way you have!**_

_**So this was written from the POV of Kim. If you didn't catch on, she left New York to go to Jack's grave and tell him all of this for closure. Is it my best writing? Ehh. Not really. But I'm sick so bear with me guys!**_

_**And now announcement time!**_

_**So I am currently sharing this account with my best friend/pen pal Alexis (not her real name but the alias she goes by). She had a different account but abandoned it for like 8 months (she was going through something) and when she came back to it she lost a lot of readers. We got in touch at some point and had the idea that we should just join together and be a mega account.**_

_**And take over the WOOOOOOORLD! *cue evil music***_

_**Any who, we're working on a **__Jessie __**story called **__Elastic Heart __**and currently have a poll up regarding it. If you have any type of interest in **__Jessie __**I suggest you give it a little look at.**_

_**And you already know me. I'm not a big fan of proofreading. Neither is Alexis. So if you find any really embarrassing typos, just read over it. Sorry loves **_

_**Thank you again for the love and support for this two shot! We really appreciate it!**_

_**If you like it review. If you like it review. If you like it, REVIEW GODDAMMIT!**_

_**-Bye Felicia**_


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